You learned how to paint. So why are you still stuck?

I've been trying to get better at YouTube.

I've been making videos for years, but lately I've been putting much more thought into what makes a good video — what people want to watch and most importantly, what will actually be useful.

So the other day I decided to do some research.

I spent hours on YouTube looking at art videos. I searched for all kinds of things an artist might search for and looked at what came up.

After a while I noticed something - most of the teaching seemed to fall into a few categories. 

There were step-by-step tutorials: (paint along with me and I'll show you exactly how to make this painting).

There were demonstrations (watch me while I paint and see how I do it.)

And there were videos teaching skills and principles like colour mixing, composition, perspective, values, materials, and techniques.

Obviously this wasn't an exhaustive scientific survey of YouTube, but after several hours, I started to feel as though something was missing.

Where were the videos about how to actually be an artist?

Where were the videos about trusting yourself? About developing your own preferences? About learning to follow an idea when you don't know where it's going?

Where was the stuff about doubt and uncertainty? About making decisions when nobody can tell you whether they're right? About recognising when something feels alive to you, even if it breaks every rule you've ever been taught?

And the thing is, this isn't really a YouTube problem. It's how we tend to teach art - and I think it's all backwards.

Don't get me wrong - I don't think there's anything wrong with learning how to mix colour or create a strong composition. Technical skills matter and principles can be enormously helpful. I've learned them myself and I've taught them.

I just think they need to come later in the learning process.

Because before we learn how to mix the perfect green, or create a balanced composition, I think we need to learn something much more fundamental. I think we need to learn how to trust ourselves.

We need to discover what we like, what excites us, what bores us and what we keep coming back to for reasons we can't quite explain.

We need to learn when something feels alive and when it doesn't.
Perhaps most importantly, we need to learn that we are allowed to decide all of those things for ourselves, rather than looking to outside authorities or the people around us for validation.

But that's just not where art education starts. Instead, we're immediately given answers. We are told  "here are the rules for X" or "here's how you do Y."

And so, before we've had a chance to develop our own instincts, we start looking outside ourselves for confirmation.

• Is this composition right?

• Does this colour work?

• Should I put something here?

• What was that thing my teacher said?

And eventually we can become so frightened of getting it wrong that we freeze.

I see this all the time. People can know an extraordinary amount about painting and still sit in front of a blank piece of paper with absolutely no idea what to do.

Personally, I think we've confused knowing how to paint with knowing how to be an artist and they are not the same thing. 

And this matters because I think a lot of artists end up believing there's something wrong with them. They watch tutorial after tutorial but somehow they don't seem to be getting anywhere.

Or they take a course and learn lots of new techniques, but when the course finishes and they're back at home, they still have no idea what to paint.

And that's incredibly demoralising.

You start to wonder why everyone else seems to be getting it and you aren't. 

But if that's you, I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I think you may simply have been taught the wrong things first.

Nobody has helped you learn how to develop ideas of your own. How to notice what interests you and follow it. How to experiment without knowing where you're going. How to recognise your own preferences. 

Being an artist means making gradually building a relationship with yourself and your work, so that you know how to make decisions and choices without any guidance, and so that your art practice moves forward naturally  - one idea after another. 

That's why all my teaching has always started with mindset, experimentation and play. I always wanted people to make things before they knew the 'right way' to do it.

I wanted them to discover what they liked before somebody told them what they should like.

I wanted them to experience the feeling of following their own curiosity and arriving somewhere they couldn't possibly have planned.

And then all that other knowledge can become incredibly useful. Once you feel free to explore with your mediums, and you trust your own decisions, you can start learning skills, techniques and principles. 

If you want a particular colour but can't mix it, learn colour mixing.

If your compositions aren't doing what you want them to do, learn about composition.

Technique becomes something you reach for because you need it and it's serving you, rather than imprisoning you.

I'm taking a long break from teaching at the moment, and I'm very happy about that. I need this time to concentrate on my own work and to practise everything I've just been talking about.

But all of this has got me thinking. If I ever do teach again, I'm increasingly interested in creating something new.

I'd like to explore what it means to be an artist.

How do you develop a sustainable creative practice that doesn't depend on somebody else giving you an assignment?

How do you generate and develop your own ideas?

How do you learn to trust your instincts?

How do you keep going through the inevitable periods of doubt, boredom, failure and uncertainty?

How do you build an artist's life around your work?

And how do you learn to speak about what you're making with confidence and clarity — not because somebody has taught you the right words to say, but because you've actually lived and embodied the ideas behind the work?

I suppose I'm imagining something that would build the foundations underneath everything else. Something that could be useful whether you're an abstract painter, a landscape painter, a sculptor, a textile artist or anything else — because it wouldn't teach you what to make.

It would help you become more able to decide that for yourself.

I have absolutely no plans to launch anything at the moment. I'm just thinking out loud.

But I'm curious.

Does that sound interesting to you? Is that something you would invest your time and money in learning?

If it is, hit reply and tell me.

I'd especially love to know what you find hardest about being an artist — not the technical aspects of making your work, but everything underneath them.

I'm not promising anything. I'm just wondering ... and listening :)