Are You Sabotaging Yourself?

When I talk with someone who is blocked creatively, I ask one question:  "what are your 'shoulds?'Usually, this gets us to the root of the issue because generally there is some expectation (or often more than one) hovering in the background.Tony Robbins talks about this as a blueprint. Basically, you have a mental blueprint that tells you how your life should be. The blueprint varies for everyone - for some it might say I should be able to control my weight, or I should stay happily married my entire life, or I should work hard and get to the top of my profession - but whatever it is, you built this blueprint early in life and you feel driven to live up to it. When you can't, depression and/or anxiety kick in.The same applies to art-making. We have a blueprint for how we think it should go, and when we fall short, we get down on ourselves.So your blueprint might say "if I get a day to myself, I should spend all of it painting" or "I should be able to paint from life and have it turn out every time" or "I should be able to produce a good painting in one sitting" or "I should be able to learn new things quickly."The trouble comes when we don't meet out 'shoulds.' We find we don't want to paint all day when we have a day off and then we feel guilty. Or we do a portrait of someone and it's a giant failure and we berate ourselves. Or we can't learn how to use Instagram, so we get frustrated and throw the phone across the room.And then, we avoid whatever it is that we were going to do.We start avoiding our studios, finding all kinds of other things that absolutely have to get done before we can go in there. Or we go get out our paints, but then can't seem to start anything.The thing is, the problem isn't us. It's our 'shoulds.' Change those and the problem disappears.If we reframe "I should be able to do this better than I can" (one of my personal favourites) and turn it into "I am learning this, so my results might not be great for a while," we feel better.We could reframe "I should paint all day when I get a day off" into "I will paint for a little while on my day off and see how it goes. Then I might do something else." Suddenly the pressure is gone.So if you find yourself resisting making your art, ask yourself "what am I telling myself about what I should do/how I should be?"You may find the answer lies in your blueprint.Would you like to get articles like this on a regular basis? If so, sign up for my Sunday bulletin - each week I send out an email just for artists and it's always something new. I also have an active, super-supportive Facebook group which you can find here - just ask to join and answer two easy questions.