How I gained unshakeable confidence in my art

I used to wish I had more confidence in my art. I craved validation from others - especially people I respected - because I thought that would give me more self-belief. I'd think "if only this or that person would say something complimentary to me, I know I could feel confident."

But then, over time, I started to receive that validation, from the exact people I hoped for. And guess what ... it meant nothing. It didn't help at all. 

Similarly, I would get hundreds of likes and comments on social media, and I'd still feel empty inside.

See, the validation I wanted couldn't come from the outside - it had to come from me. Yes I know this sounds trite, but cliches are cliches because they are true. 

I now feel no need for external validation. It's nice of course, when someone likes or buys my work, but it makes no difference to my internal sense of what I'm doing. I know that I am making worthwhile paintings in an interesting way (while also knowing that here is so much more that I can learn and so many better places I can take my work).

So you might be asking 'how did you get there? what steps do I have to take?' I get it. I have struggled with this for years and have asked other people the same questions.

Now I know that the answer is both easier and harder than I thought. 

The truth is that there are no mindset tricks that can help. It's not about having counselling or meditating.  Or establishing a new creative routine. Or getting off social media.

Instead, I had to do one simple thing: make better art.

The truth is that I've been off my game for a few years now.  I'm not saying my art was bad - it was attractive to look at and sometimes it even packed an emotional punch ... but it didn't feel like it was coming from that deep place inside me where things just flow and feel right - I suppose it's a feeling of being truly aligned with yourself.

My life was turned upside down a few years ago - everything changed in ways I never could have predicted. And in the process of going through that fire, I became a new person. And yet I was still approaching my art in the same way. I was still using the same tools and processes and making the same style of painting. The problem was, it no longer fit me.

I had to reconnect with myself on a deep level. I had to explore my interests and ideas. I had to look at the thoughts that I kept thinking, and the visual elements that were inspiring me. And then I had to start experimenting with the new ideas that arose.

In fact, I had to leave behind everything that had made me successful and start again. It was a scary move, but not as scary as the thought of staying stuck. 

And it worked... I found my way again; I aligned my practice with my new life. 

My current theme makes perfect sense, given what I experienced. It's not a theme I could painted abstractly - it needs figures. And it's not something I could have done using my old processes. It needed the introduction of new mediums and techniques. 

But now I am once again working in a way that feels true to me, and confidence is that natural outcome of that approach. I accept that this new work may not be for everyone, and that I may lose fans and followers. But I also know it's what I'm supposed to be doing, so there's no question of staying where I was.

What I've learned from all this is that we lose confidence when we are not being true to ourselves, and we gain it when we align with ourselves. Which means that self-knowledge is the most important quality for an artist. And this process of alignment is not "one-and-done" - we may know ourselves well, but if something happens that changes us, we need to be prepared to dive in again and figure out who we have become.

Like I said, the answer to the question: "how do I gain confidence?" is both easy and hard ... all you have to do is really get to know yourself and then paint honestly from who you are.