I have a problem ....
I've been re-reading the book The War of Art. The book is all about the topic of resistance. The author, Stephen Pressfield, argues that resistance is one of the most powerful forces in human life, and that it takes many forms.
By resistance, he means anything that takes us away from fulfilling our calling. He's talking to painters who don't paint, writers who don't write, and entrepreneurs who never actually start a business. But he's also talking about painters who do't paint enough ... those of us who find a million reasons not to do the work we want to do.
He explains that resistance is simply part of the artist's life, to a greater or lesser extent, and that we can never get rid of it entirely. Instead, we must learn to recognise and manage it.
He makes some amazing points and I recommend reading the book because I can't do it justice here. The biggest revelation for me is that resistance is not JUST procrastination.
Procrastination is one of the more obvious forms of resistance, for sure, and we've all experienced that feeling of 'I'll start that painting tomorrow" or "I'll get to the studio next week," but I was quite startled to realise how many other ways resistance presents itself, and even more started to realise I have an enormous amount of resistance within me. (I thought I was immune lol).
For me, resistance often shows up as busyness. If I am busy making Youtube videos, and writing newsletters, and answering emails and teaching courses, I don't have much time to paint. There's always someone wanting my time and attention and it's very easy to give it away.
It's also easy to rationalise this as simply my identity.
"I am a busy and generous person," I can tell myself. "One day I'll get more studio time but not when my students/team/readers 'need' me."
Resistance often shows up as rationalisation. It's the little voice that says "wouldn't it make more sense to wait until you have a bigger space?" or "is there really any point to painting when the world is in such a bad place?" or "didn't Picasso already do this? why do we need another version?"
On some level the voice makes sense - that's the sneaky power of resistance. It takes on many disguises.
"Oh I'm just a perfectionist," you might say, completely mistaking your resistance for your identity. The perfectionism is NOT who you are - it's simply the excuse you've given yourself for not getting started on something difficult.
The War of Art asks us to face up to what we have been avoiding. It challenges us to be honest with ourselves about our real fears. Because it's only in that honesty that we can start to find answers.
So, I am making a promise to myself that I will establish a new routine. Art will come first each day, even if for only an hour. I will make something before I check emails, do the NY Times Connections puzzle, create content, or any of the other things I do that are NOT making art.
Once I have made something - however "bad" it might be, I will know that I have conquered resistance for that day.